Women : Nature's Wonder or Nature Wonders...

            

             So, we all know the story on how GOD made the earth, the plants and everything beautiful around. Then one day He created Man. As a reward to this purple patch, He decided to take things easy and set up a factory in China for mass production of men. Faster, easier and cheaper. Now since it’s a production assembly line, they were all the same, except for looks. Like all Chinese made products, Men also had variations in terms of quality. Some worked wonders while others were defective. But the basic functionality and features remain the same.

            Then, He rested and after what seemed to be a conspicuous 'lull before the storm', He created Woman. Now since he was done building the world and all, He decided not to set up a factory but prepared each piece himself. Changed and experimented several times. He did not realize that down there, on earth, what a hard time this will be for Men trying to understand Women. This is also why women mystify us every time we know one. They are just so different.          

              I would have loved citing examples but then space and words would be a constraint to get it all here. So don’t be amazed if the shy quiet girl sitting in the corner is a kick ass writer or if the bold looking female is actually a wimp. From reaching the space to acting like a space shuttle in our life. She has done it all. Just like my Mom who admits to not understanding technology but can be seen playing games on her tablet or surfing matrimonial sites finding a girl for me in her spare time. Wonder what she would have done, had she known Technology. Build a robotic daughter-in-lay maybe?

              The problem is we Men are like Porn movies. You see one you have seen them all. It’s the same. Women on the other hand are like Kamala Hassan or Amir Khan movies. Each movie is different and has a lot of efforts behind the making. Now just like the movies, some may flop while some may be super hit. We try to understand women all our lives. Initially we try to understand our mother/sister, as soon as we get close to knowing what they actually mean or want, we get our wife/gf , who is a different women altogether.

              We like to attribute our lack of understanding of women to PMS in general. The PMS that lasts for 30 days a month.What we fail to realize is the person up in the sky never wanted us to solve this mystery. Love them, adore them, compliment them, listen to them but do not try to understand them. And for those who have tried it all and failed, please remember that SOME women are hard to please, others are just impossible. The mystic about Women is almost like he-who-must-not-be-named ‘s nose. The more you think about it the more you fail to understand why couldn’t’ he fix his nose with all the magical powers in his wand.

              The world will be so boring without them .Just like some great guy said, we can’t live with them, we cannot live without them. And just as I proofread this, I realize that my words do not do justice to the Wonders of Women.

Cheers!

FaceBook - You Ruined my Life ;-)

              The other day, one of my friends came rushing to me and said, “You know that hot chick that was dating a loser? They just broke off. Now is my time to woo her and I shall do it before people even know about the break up”. I answered with a big grin, “Dude, we all know about it. It’s on her Facebook page. And in the last 24 hours, she has accepted 28 friend requests. You are very late.”

               I wondered about life before Facebook. It was so nice and calm. Being nosy was an art. It required efforts to know about people’s ‘personal’ business. Something like interfering in other’s life and expect a ‘meddle’ for it. I have seen the pride when people gossiped about what they found out. To know about someone’s personal life, you either had to be inquisitive or had to be a very good friend. These days it is just with a click of the mouse. All we have to do is add that person on FB and there, we might even get his/her horoscope lying abandoned on the Wall. Seriously, there is more than enough drama happening on Facebook every day that it negates the need of having reality shows.

                I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds but now that I too have a Facebook account I’m over it. It tells me about personal conversations between married couples. It talks about how much somebody loves his/her parents. It tells me all the places people have been to. What they have been drinking, eating, worshipping, ignoring or even playing. It has saved some from a terrifying ‘keeping-my-thoughts-to-myself’ addiction as well. It also provides visual aids. I don’t even have to go out of my house anymore to ogle at beautiful women. I do it all on my phone or laptop. I have started to worry about my physical stamina because I’m wondering when was the last time I ran to catch a bus just cause there was a hot chick in it. ;-)

               And I am sure Mark Zuckerberg did not see it coming too. He made a social network to be circulated among the nerds of the university. Among people who lacked the conviction and capability to chat up with people or the time to visit an old friend. He did not realize that there is a nerd among all of us. There was a time when my interactions were required by other guys too. Now they rely on Facebook because they think it’s like the voices in my head are being put on a speakerphone.

               And Mark you sure had no clue that with the advent of your website, we would be entering an age of too much information and that it would also act as a big morale booster for women and also be responsible for gender inequality. A morale booster for women, yes ofcourse Where else do you see a girl being so appreciated other than her FB picture. What they fail to understand is that there is a distribution pattern among those likes. 15% likes come from people who ‘Like’ everything. 35% likes come from female friends cause they hope that you would like her pic back.40% Likes come from Guys who would Like everything you put cause they feel with that they have a chance to woo you. Remaining 10% are the people who genuinely Love you and will Like everything you put. The rest from those women who feign the ‘Like’. ;-)

                In short, to do everything that required people skills, can now be done through FB. This sure is not good news for me. I mean come-on if you do not have to do anything special to know stuff , it levels the playing field and I hate it.

Oh Facebook. I hate you so much. J

Yes, I Need a GUN...

 

         With the recent Connecticut school shooting massacre ,  where 20  kids were shot dead, the debate  on Gun control bill  in news again. I was surprised to see the media here voicing an opinion on the bill. Or perhaps this was a prime example why Facebook is famous. We were more interested in the bill debate of the USA rather than worrying about our own problems. Precisely,we were more interested in other's life. Now I might have a personal opinion  that the law and order is better in the USA  and the society is more civilized so they do not really need Guns , but again I want to worry  about what happens here first so I wont go in those details.

            There were 3 incidents reported in the last 2 weeks that I would like to touch upon. First, a girl gang raped in Delhi with her beau beaten and thrown out of a moving bus,second, a bunch of thugs killing a young boy who came to help the girl who was been teased by those thugs  And third,when an elderly lady of around 40 walking with her husband and son was subjected to cat calls in public and then the male duo thrashed by those thugs. Doesn't give us a pretty picture right? I have always been proud of my country, India , and have given the good side  of it to my friends overseas. Needless to say, they and the rest of the world would be in for a shock if such despicable truths continue to rear its ugly head. 

           So, is the common man in this country really so safe? Are we portraying ourselves as uncivilized? And that is where the thought  arises of me owning a gun in India, nevertheless being unknown of what could happen if I own one in the US.But certainly, I feel the need of owning one here for the safety sake of me and my family. Unfortunately  I spend a lot of time trying to earn money  to give my family a decent living.  Unfortunately, surviving in this booming rat-race of a metropolis called Mumbai doesn’t leave me much room to learn martial arts or other forms of physical combat. That’s when the coveted gun could take its charge. If ever I see myself in such situations, wherein a woman is being eve-teased by a handful of goons, I will brandish the gun, deeming that would be the best way to cow them into dispersing.. On the other hand, it is equally appalling to see a dozen ‘onlookers’ who do not bother to take up the cudgels against those involved  in such petty anti-social   elements. Perhaps they are to be blamed too.Why is that when the husband and son trying to  guard the lady of the house were getting over powered and beaten by those goons, the remaining people around  deny to save them??

           Like the rest, I would be pleased if my country's law and order  became one of the best  in the near future. However, I  do not expect these  abhorrent individuals to become civilized.They know  they belong to a country where the Minister says that girls should dress up properly to save themselves from being eve teased. They know they belong to a country where a few institution[ bars girls from wearing  denims to keep them safe. They know they belong to a country that is made up of selfish and self centered bunch of losers. And so I need a gun and I do not feel my demand is unjustified.

          All I want is to stay in a civil society. A society where, when your car gets crashed, the person doesn't come running to you hurling abuses ready for a fight, but like the one in the Europe or the US where human safety seeks an utmost importance.And I do realize that owning guns might rather take us away from forming such a civilized society. But then what are my options if the educated and civilized people around me choose to look the other way when an innocent girl is eve teased.

        Life always gives us options. Either we continue to live in misery or we decide the need to stop this. And for that we, the common men, will have to raise them to the occasion . Do not expect anyone else to bring us out of this. So let’s decide, do we want to stop this shit  by getting involved or shall we all have a GUN

---