Saturday, 9 February 2013

FaceBook - You Ruined my Life ;-)


              The other day, one of my friends came rushing to me and said, “You know that hot chick that was dating a loser? They just broke off. Now is my time to woo her and I shall do it before people even know about the break up”. I answered with a big grin, “Dude, we all know about it. It’s on her Facebook page. And in the last 24 hours, she has accepted 28 friend requests. You are very late.”

               I wondered about life before Facebook. It was so nice and calm. Being nosy was an art. It required efforts to know about people’s ‘personal’ business. Something like interfering in other’s life and expect a ‘meddle’ for it. I have seen the pride when people gossiped about what they found out. To know about someone’s personal life, you either had to be inquisitive or had to be a very good friend. These days it is just with a click of the mouse. All we have to do is add that person on FB and there, we might even get his/her horoscope lying abandoned on the Wall. Seriously, there is more than enough drama happening on Facebook every day that it negates the need of having reality shows.

                I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds but now that I too have a Facebook account I’m over it. It tells me about personal conversations between married couples. It talks about how much somebody loves his/her parents. It tells me all the places people have been to. What they have been drinking, eating, worshipping, ignoring or even playing. It has saved some from a terrifying ‘keeping-my-thoughts-to-myself’ addiction as well. It also provides visual aids. I don’t even have to go out of my house anymore to ogle at beautiful women. I do it all on my phone or laptop. I have started to worry about my physical stamina because I’m wondering when was the last time I ran to catch a bus just cause there was a hot chick in it. ;-)

               And I am sure Mark Zuckerberg did not see it coming too. He made a social network to be circulated among the nerds of the university. Among people who lacked the conviction and capability to chat up with people or the time to visit an old friend. He did not realize that there is a nerd among all of us. There was a time when my interactions were required by other guys too. Now they rely on Facebook because they think it’s like the voices in my head are being put on a speakerphone.

               And Mark you sure had no clue that with the advent of your website, we would be entering an age of too much information and that it would also act as a big morale booster for women and also be responsible for gender inequality. A morale booster for women, yes ofcourse Where else do you see a girl being so appreciated other than her FB picture. What they fail to understand is that there is a distribution pattern among those likes. 15% likes come from people who ‘Like’ everything. 35% likes come from female friends cause they hope that you would like her pic back.40% Likes come from Guys who would Like everything you put cause they feel with that they have a chance to woo you. Remaining 10% are the people who genuinely Love you and will Like everything you put. The rest from those women who feign the ‘Like’. ;-)

                In short, to do everything that required people skills, can now be done through FB. This sure is not good news for me. I mean come-on if you do not have to do anything special to know stuff , it levels the playing field and I hate it.

Oh Facebook. I hate you so much. J

19 comments:

  1. Giving up the conventional Facebook page and adopting the new 'Timeline', which is nothing but a graphical representation by Facebook to show how we wasted our precious time in the past, also adds up to the misery.

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  2. Leaving aside instances where geographically separated close persons exchange news through fb-i find it extremely boring,time-wasting,shallow & egoistic.

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    1. Haha. Well, all generalisations are always false. Anyway. Jokes apart. No offence but personally, I think there are various other ways and methods still in existence through which 'geographically separated close persons' can stay in touch. Facebook becomes shallow and egotistic when there is shallow and egotism speaking on the Wall. Sometimes, you come across jokes and funny-one liners posted on a person's timeline. That is definitely Liked and admired by the person who catches the wit posted there. Facebook is for fun but these days some consider it to be a soap opera where there is a new episode every 5 minutes. Those are the ones who certainly get offended or offensive about some status messages that are just pure fictional. And to sum up, I guess Facebook is the only place where some people have a status. Just saying. :)

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    2. Facebook is the only place where some people have a status !!!!!!!! I LIKE

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  3. Good one... i do agree that facebook is an addiction, and its for all the nerds in us but somewhere it helps that nerd get smarter and an extrovert.

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  4. Very nice article...its important to know the enemy and so people sometimes add you.its really a dangerous when you may be sone point of time dont ger along with some people but unfreinding them is also not a good option.

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  5. Very nice article...its important to know the enemy and so people sometimes add you.its really a dangerous when you may be sone point of time dont ger along with some people but unfreinding them is also not a good option.

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  6. I agree to whatever you say.... but moreover I feel people who really love being a center of attraction they display all their social,emotional statuses on FB.... People, like me :-P who really don't want anyone to know whats happening in their personal/social life, do not display anything on the wall.... like I am sure you don't know whats happened/happening in my life after September 2010... and well, you were not on FB then and also I didn't post those facts on FB... so it's just any other thing where it has it's own pros and cons and people use it the way they want it to..... the best we can do is ignore it and not hate FB :D

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  7. i agree with her...

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  8. I liked the analytics of the LIKES :)

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    1. Thanks kama..M glad you are reading the posts..:-)

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  9. So Kapil, why is it that you joined FB, after we made a pact not to get a FB. I feel so betrayed, Kapil !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Had to Duc..just Had to..I was tortured to do this..lol

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  10. Nice post!In fact, I wrote out my frustration on facebook some time back but it's half written, so I never blogged it.Post this on your facebook wall and let the ladies know...haha

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  11. Nice catch..
    I was bored of facebook so much that didn't want it any more. Now I have it only for the fact that I can use it to stay in touch with friends far of... May be a few posts like 1 in a year or so... lol...
    I think I can make good use of it in future... ;)

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