My Facebook Profile pic

              Once upon a time ( that is how most of the bedtime stories or fairy tales start) people clicked photos for the memories attached to it. They were seen in albums kept in storage areas once a year and smiled upon. These days we click photos just to put it on facebook. Fortunately since I do not have a facebook profile, I do not go under immense pressure to pose like a stud every time someone is clicking a photo.

              Facebook profile pics are deceptive. And we might hardly have people who would disagree with this fact. How many times have we seen the most awesome looking girl on facebook to be an average looking girl in the real world? I don't know about others but I have been deceived far too many times to keep the count. As if the pic is of the same person but in some other parallel universe. Perhaps the movie DejaVu was not fiction after all. There does exist a universe parallel to this which is known to most fb users. They go there every month to get their photos taken so that they could be uploaded on fb.

             I only wish if people looked the way the fb profile pic is. I would have loved the world. Not that I am a materialistic mcp who does not value inner beauty but comeon who would hate to see only beautiful faces around.Even the Lords had only beautiful people around. I have never seen an average looking dancer whenever they showed Indra's palace in television serials.

             The poses I see on fb would make SRK hang his head in shame.The plain Jane next door girl I remember from school suddenly looks like the hottest chick in town. The regret of missing the bus in school overrides other feelings.And then the school reunion brings you back to reality.You start getting the confidence back on the decisions you took.One more strange thing I have noticed is no matter how the fb pic of a girl is, she will surely get likes and superlikes from guys, but more on that when I write on the gender discrimination on fb.

               Most of the rant also comes because of the fact that I am the rare unlucky person whose pics look worse than the already bad God gifted face.Only if someone showed me the door to that parallel universe. Only if I could have gone back a few years and saved a pic when I actually looked cute.( before you judge, all kids look cute). Anyway the bottom line my friends is that never judge a book by the cover if the cover you talk about is the facebook profile pic ;-)

PS: The hypocrite that I am, I am attaching the pic I would have used as my fb profile pic.

Cheers!! Give my pic some likes please!! ;-)

The 'Indian Husband'

               One of my favorite movies RDB starts with a line ' I always believed there were two kinds of men in this world, men who go to their deaths screaming, and men who go to their deaths in silence. Then I met a third kind.' I always get a feeling that the third kind he actually refers to is about the one I am writing about. The kind that is different than others. Even different from the other married men. He is the most underrated superstar of the world. He is the one who is more like Spiderman caught in a web built by the society.He is bright, charismatic and still so humble and modest. He has suffered from centuries and will probably suffer for a few more.And yet he stands tall, fighting the odds, delivering the goods ( I do not mean the grocery here please) , easy to please. Yes, I am talking about ' THE INDIAN HUSBAND'.

              When I say this guy has suffered from ages and will continue to do so, I meant no exaggeration. The Hindu religion talks about two main holy wars fought. The causes for both were women and the people who fought and died where Indian husbands. Be it the father of Lord Ram who had to send his son to jungle or Lord Ram itself who had to fight after he went looking for the golden deer on his wife's wish. The Indian husband was torn between his duties and his wife if he was the king of old times. The Indian husband is still torn between his wife and mother in modern times.

                In the Indian wedding, people dance and celebrate and have fun. But little does the man on the mare knows that people dancing in his procession are celebrating a different cause. The married men are dancing cause they are happy that the people who suffer like them have increased by one more, the singles dance because they are saved and the women dance to know that they got one more from the enemy clan. What he has failed to realize is the reason why most Bollywood movies get over right after the hero gets the heroine and before they get married is cause we love happy endings. And they know that after marriage there is just ending to the poor guy's life. Nothing is happy about it.

              The poor husband suffers right from Day one. If he listens to what his wife says, he is a henpecked husband. If he listens to what his mother says, he is a 'Mummy' boy. Not just that, if a guy is liked by his in-laws he surely will be hated by his own parents or if the parents find him an ideal son, the in-laws are complaining. When he works too hard to make some money so that the family gets a good life, he is blamed for not spending time with his family. If he spends time with his family, he is blamed and he will be no matter how much he earns, that he could not get enough for his family. Poor guy keeps getting squeezed from all corners of the world.

                He gets into the mode of listening. Everybody has an opinion which will be a new battle waged if worked on. He tries to find solace in the newspaper and news channel. But the most important work to be done will always be remembered by the wife when he just opens the newspaper. The kids have taken control of the TV remote. He is expected to know everything that the wife thinks. He is expected to know how his parents feel. He is expected to work the way his Boss wants.The pressure of expectations makes his shoulders slump.His Blood Pressure increases.And then comes a time when people start saying, Ohh that Mr X, what a man he was, now he is married.

               Like a table tennis ball, he keeps going back n forth between his wife and mother. Like a football, he keeps been pushed around by his boss, colleagues, kids, parents and society.Like in Baseball, he keeps making 'Home runs'.And just like the cricket ball, he is battered and bruised in a few years. He is playing all the sports but is not enjoying it. But the guy still stands tall, remains humble and modest about his achievements of his daily life, keeps a smile on his face and asks the bachelor sitting next to him, 'So when do you plan to get married'?

              So please stand in silence for a couple of minutes or salute the guy, but find some way to respect this superstar.Gift him something whenever you can cause he doesn't have a day for him. Archies makes no cards for him. He just sits there, suffers and does it with grace. A salute to all the Indian Husbands. May God give you the will to be strong. :-)

Cheers!

Types of 'Drunk'

            Being a non alcoholic bachelor in your mid twenties has its pros and cons. One of the pros is that you get invited to a lot of parties where alcohol flows and since you are a non alcoholic, you tend to remember the most that happened last night. There is also a sinister feeling attached since you are the one who is having the most fun at other's expense. Having being traveled around the world, I have believed in the world known fact that no matter which part of the world you belong, you always tend to drink in excess when the booze is free. I have so far distinguished people on the types of 'drunk' based on their behavior after they get high.

            The first one being the most common one called the 'sentimental' type. These types of people get emotional every time they get drunk. They cry, love, hate and show all kinds of emotions. They are the ones who most often are the 'shayars' of the group or the love smitten ones. Though this is a broad category but I reserve it for those who are only in this category and show no other symptoms of the other type of drunks. It is better to not cross their emotions or engage them in a discussion when they are drunk because even if they do not have the tendency to be violent, they are often the brawl starters.

           Then we have the type which probably is common only in India. They are the 'English speaking' drunk. These people are the ones who start talking in English as soon as they are high. Rather this is a sign to know if they are drunk or no. Repetitive use of a single word or sentence is their most common phenomenon. They are fun when they get going. Right on the other end of spectrum, and I say this on the risk of hurting a few people I admire, are the ones I call 'Silent' types. They are the most boring ones because they just switch on the mute mode as soon as they are drunk. In case you hold a grudge, this is the time to tell them what you have always feared cause there will be no retaliation.

             We also have the 'all out' types of drunk. They are the ones who have the tendency to drink to an extent beyond control and they lose their sense of prevail. They have the tendency to be either the most fun person cause they have no clue what they are up to but also at the same time the most difficult ones for people in control. I kind of hate these types cause one or 2 people from the party have to curtail their fun to take care of these types. They are also the most stupid ones cause from what I know they suffer the most horrid hangover the next day.

           On the same lines at the other end of spectrum, we have a type called as 'tanker'. These are the ones who are always in control no matter how much they drink. They are my personal favorites. They are the ones who have the most fun or rather are the cause of fun for most people in the party and at the same time have the capacity to switch straight into the 'savior' mode. If anything goes wrong or anyone needs help, they are the ones that are on the front or help the most and even more than the non alcoholic ones. It is often advisable to not compete with them when you are on a drinking binge. It is always best to have a couple of such people in the group.

          Off late I also discovered a new type which I term as the 'irritating' types. They tend to switch on the 'irritate everybody' mode as soon as they are drunk. They often feel they are the wisecrack ass of the party but more often than nor they are just the crack ass.It is better to stay away from them if you want to enjoy the party to the max and be around the 'sentimental' or 'tanker' types.

          These are the most common types and the drunk can vary type to type on occasions but still can be based in a group on the symptoms they show the most. Again these types are made from a non alcoholic perspective. This post is a humorous attempt and I have no intention of hurting anyone. The declaration in the previous statement is very important cause without it I may face the risk of not being invited into the next party. Till then, Enjoy and do add if you feel there are more types I have missed ,in the comments section.

Cheers!