Kuch Raas Nahi Aaya : Ram-Leela (Movie Review)

             So we get to read a movie review from  another movie-nutjob who thinks he knows it all about  films. If this is what you are thinking, please read on. If not, I am sure you will still read on. And yes there are no Spoiler Alerts.

            I am not one of those who know the art of movie-making. I do not understand how extravagant the colors of the movies are or how awesome the Art Direction. I am just a common man who happens to be movie crazy and makes it a point to watch all (yes, read ALL) the movies ever made. The difference between me and the movie critics who gave the movie ‘Ram-Leela’ 4.5 star rating is that they were paid to write a review and watch the movie while I paid to watch the movie and the pain forced me to write a review.

           The movie  bumped into controversies,  consequently getting banned just  four days before its release;  the ban  was lifted. But now the ban surely looks more like a publicity stunt. The response to the trailers and songs might not have convinced Sanjay Leela Bhansali (SLB) that the movie would be a commercial ‘Hit’. Going to watch a SLB movie, one expects grand sets and colors and a lot of songs. But this one   faded in the stretch to look like a movie when the first 70% of it just resembled an amateur attempt by Bhansali to create a musical injected with a deluge of songs which were really not required.  I mean in no part of the world, including the Culture shown in the movie,  there is dancing and singing for everything that possibly happens under the sun. Not only were the songs a lil too many but also the dance sequence was  not very eye-catching. The chicks’ grooves really looked like a cohort of drunken penguins on a trampoline.  It might have caused a collective back-ache to the troupe  but  honestly, who dances like that?

            A lot was expected from the gorgeous Deepika Padukone after ‘Chennai Express’, but all we got was a female who looked sex deprived (more like 40 and yet a virgin) eager to sleep with someone who could challenge her. It took me some time to realize that the first sequence in which the hero meets the heroine was actually the first meeting too. I mean come-on, I have not seen even hopheads and drunk bimbos act like that when they see a guy for the first time. The scenes that were supposed to be sensuous were just crass and out of place.

            Ranveer Singh might have improved his dancing and physique (that pretty much explains why Ms. Shuttlecock Player thinks monstrosity is sexy incarnate) but his acting skills still need a lot of improvement. More than that, he needs to be selective in the roles he chooses and plays, in case if he is serious about his acting career. What? I did not yet mention the story line?? Yes, because there isn’t any.Most scenes emoted Lust rather than Love and the story missed chunks in between that made it really difficult for us to connect the scenes.A lot is left to guess and makes no sense at all. What was supposed to be an adaptation of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet became such a sad story that he would be tossing and turning writhing with agony inside his grave.

            For those who still feel they can watch the movie just to see a topless Ranveer, a sensuous dance song from Priyanka Chopra and who could manage to see Deepika like this after Chennai Express, please do watch the movie. But yes. Before you do that, please do give a thought to all the good things you could do/buy with  that 500 Rs/- you would spend on the movie.

Cheers!