The 'Indian Husband'

               One of my favorite movies RDB starts with a line ' I always believed there were two kinds of men in this world, men who go to their deaths screaming, and men who go to their deaths in silence. Then I met a third kind.' I always get a feeling that the third kind he actually refers to is about the one I am writing about. The kind that is different than others. Even different from the other married men. He is the most underrated superstar of the world. He is the one who is more like Spiderman caught in a web built by the society.He is bright, charismatic and still so humble and modest. He has suffered from centuries and will probably suffer for a few more.And yet he stands tall, fighting the odds, delivering the goods ( I do not mean the grocery here please) , easy to please. Yes, I am talking about ' THE INDIAN HUSBAND'.

              When I say this guy has suffered from ages and will continue to do so, I meant no exaggeration. The Hindu religion talks about two main holy wars fought. The causes for both were women and the people who fought and died where Indian husbands. Be it the father of Lord Ram who had to send his son to jungle or Lord Ram itself who had to fight after he went looking for the golden deer on his wife's wish. The Indian husband was torn between his duties and his wife if he was the king of old times. The Indian husband is still torn between his wife and mother in modern times.

                In the Indian wedding, people dance and celebrate and have fun. But little does the man on the mare knows that people dancing in his procession are celebrating a different cause. The married men are dancing cause they are happy that the people who suffer like them have increased by one more, the singles dance because they are saved and the women dance to know that they got one more from the enemy clan. What he has failed to realize is the reason why most Bollywood movies get over right after the hero gets the heroine and before they get married is cause we love happy endings. And they know that after marriage there is just ending to the poor guy's life. Nothing is happy about it.

              The poor husband suffers right from Day one. If he listens to what his wife says, he is a henpecked husband. If he listens to what his mother says, he is a 'Mummy' boy. Not just that, if a guy is liked by his in-laws he surely will be hated by his own parents or if the parents find him an ideal son, the in-laws are complaining. When he works too hard to make some money so that the family gets a good life, he is blamed for not spending time with his family. If he spends time with his family, he is blamed and he will be no matter how much he earns, that he could not get enough for his family. Poor guy keeps getting squeezed from all corners of the world.

                He gets into the mode of listening. Everybody has an opinion which will be a new battle waged if worked on. He tries to find solace in the newspaper and news channel. But the most important work to be done will always be remembered by the wife when he just opens the newspaper. The kids have taken control of the TV remote. He is expected to know everything that the wife thinks. He is expected to know how his parents feel. He is expected to work the way his Boss wants.The pressure of expectations makes his shoulders slump.His Blood Pressure increases.And then comes a time when people start saying, Ohh that Mr X, what a man he was, now he is married.

               Like a table tennis ball, he keeps going back n forth between his wife and mother. Like a football, he keeps been pushed around by his boss, colleagues, kids, parents and society.Like in Baseball, he keeps making 'Home runs'.And just like the cricket ball, he is battered and bruised in a few years. He is playing all the sports but is not enjoying it. But the guy still stands tall, remains humble and modest about his achievements of his daily life, keeps a smile on his face and asks the bachelor sitting next to him, 'So when do you plan to get married'?

              So please stand in silence for a couple of minutes or salute the guy, but find some way to respect this superstar.Gift him something whenever you can cause he doesn't have a day for him. Archies makes no cards for him. He just sits there, suffers and does it with grace. A salute to all the Indian Husbands. May God give you the will to be strong. :-)

Cheers!