Surviving without social networking sites

 Practically this is my first post of the new year. The one that shows 1st January as the date was actually written on 31st December. So like most of the people I do not want my first post to be the new year resolutions or what should I do now and what I did before. I missed writing in the last one month as I lacked time and the enthu. I do have 4 or 5 topics on my mind already that I want to write about but I thought I would start with something that is on my mind from a long long time.

 In US and now I know even in India social networking profile is a must. We have something called as SSN in the US. Without this number you have practically no identity in US, you will not be paid , no benefits nothing. It is mandatory for everyone to have one if you want to stay here for more than a month. Similarly having a facebook account is a must. Without it you have no identity.So for most of the people here I do not exist. And I know the situation is same in India too but then there are places which do not have electricity or water and still people survive so FB account is no big deal.

I have been asked this question like an infinite amount of times that why do I not have an account on FB or Orkut? Rather some people do not believe that I do not have one.Sorry if I have created a suspense, but no , this post is not about why I am not on any social networking sites. That will still remain a secret. But I do have one answer for all which was actually given by one of my good friend Amol Joshi. Once in office when someone asked me why I do not keep an account Amol replied for me to him that 'Kapil do not like to keep traces behind of what he has done.So you know he just came back from UK and he does not want anyone to know where he is now'. The way he said that and the spontaneity with which he did made us laugh for practically 10 minutes. So I still go by the same answer to everybody who asks me the question.

But to speak on the topic , to survive without one is not really very difficult. People or friends always kept in touch way before these sites were created. So if someone wants to stay in touch, they still can. Maybe the method involves efforts but then they will find you if you are worth the efforts for them. These sites have just made things easy and trust me more than half of the people in your lists are the one you never even care about. I think of myself as a social animal but I know that I cannot stand many people and I lack the power of patience and diplomacy which people have used to very good effect these days. So when I do not even see such people on my account it actually helps. I agree that as i have moved a few countries in last few years, keeping in touch has become difficult but friends who wish to stay in touch can always e-mail. They do not really need FB or Orkut to do so.

To have an account for TimePass is the biggest reason to actually have it. But again there are other ways you can pass your free time and are as effective in time wasting as these sites.Try looking for things on Amazon and I bet it would cover 60% of the time that you want to waste. :-) .Yes I do miss it when I actually miss a few of my school friends but that missing feeling was not mutual. Had they missed me too we would have kept in touch definitely. The biggest reason why I miss these sites are when I want to spread my blogs far and wide. I need more people to read my thoughts and these sites would have been the easiest way to do so.The alternatives are really very time consuming and takes alot of efforts. Now I know that more people actually read my blog than the number of followers and the lesser number of people who comment. So I wanted to take my blog to people who are more into commenting so that I do not lack the enthu to write as I Just did for last month. But I leave this on your hands.

Surviving without these sites is now becoming a fun challenge for me. Some of you can try it too or share your experiences about them.

Love, Sex aur Dhoka

 No second guesses, I am indeed talking about the movie. I agree I am a bit late, but better late than never. And for those who think that how depressing it would be to watch this movie on the 31st Night, Let me assure you that the time I watched the movie and wrote the blog it was 31st Morning here and I do not feel anything depressing about the movie as it shows the hard facts of our society, something which I too tend to bring to light.

We all know the movie is basically a combination of three sub stories. One on the honor killings that seem to be becoming more frequent than it should, Second on the MMS scandals which came as a wave in our country specially after the first DPS MMS scandal and third on the so called media and its sting operations.The movie was truly amazing and was as close to reality as it can get. Kudos to the director Dibakar Banerjee. The movie was not considered a hit in the Indian cinema world. I remember when the movie was released it made headlines cause of the bold title. Many of my friends including females went to watch the movie for the title but were not very much impressed with the movie. One of them said she could not tolerate the movie for more than 20 minutes. Not surprising, that is what our mentality is. We want to run away form the real world as far as we can and as fast as we can.

The director of the movie couldn't have done more justice to the movie by the way he combined the 3 stories of the movie. The title was definitely bolder than required; to attract the public; but I would say that was justified. He wanted to send a message across to the sleeping society and he knew to hit the maximum people he had to keep a title that would atleast get people inside the theaters. And not to forget that certain dialogues in the movie though spoken subtly were really hard hitting to the hypocrite world

 In my initial days of blogging I received feedback which said that people do not want to know the facts of life. They do not want to read me whine against the so called civilized society. They wanted something more fun and maybe fiction. But that was something against my motive and so I did not resort to it. But that feedback and the number of people I know about, who are reluctant to follow or read the blog, are because of the same reasons to why the movie did not make it big in the market. One person tried to put alot at stake and makes a movie which shows the hard facts of what is happening in our society. But we do not wish to be woken up. We prefer to play dead and would rather enjoy something that makes us entertain.

It is not a hidden fact that honor killings have become a crude symbol of the caste system in our society and that we do not want to change. We do not give a thought to the people in the MMS scandals. And how the media has been playing with us, has come out after the Niira Radia controversy. And did anyone care to notice that how after being in spotlight for months, the Arushi murder case is now closed by CBI with no suspects. I know a story which came in the first page of Mumbai Mirror. It was a 15 year old accusing 7 people of rape in the slums of Kurla. One of the accused was a 70 year old man. 5 days later the medical reports said that the girl was still a virgin. Any guesses where this story came in the paper? On the 5th page on one small corner. That is how the media plays and portrays the society.

 And guess what we are more than happy with it. We do not want to be shown the truth. We are scared of it. And so we do not prefer people who speak hard facts, who get this things into light and nor do we find such movies interesting. We are a bunch of selfish people who are content with the way we live, struggle and die. We care a damn about others or the society. But we forget that in the long run our kids are going to be a part of this society which would have turned into a menace because we did not care to stop nor did we bother to come to light. We preferred to turn our back to the facts of life.

Like many other so called controversial blogs of mine, I am sure even this one would not be well received or liked. But its time I stop caring about what people require to read. I would prefer doing my part for the society. Some day there would be more people who would not turn their back to these facts of our society and take time to ponder and if possible find solutions to it. That day will come!!!

PS: I would like to sincerely request all people who liked the blog or thought to not only comment here but also to spread it to others they can. This is cause I would like this message to reach far and wide. It's time WE FACE THE PROBLEMS!!!!!!

That 'ONE' Person

I thought hard to give this post the best start that I could give. Thought of all the high fandu big words and adjectives I knew. Searched my brain with all the vocab I know of. I would be talking of a very important person in this article. And so I pondered on all the ways to make a best possible start. Soon I realised that no words can make it possible. Words are never enough to describe the best possible feeling and the best possible person. At least I am not capable of doing so. So this is how I start and I will go about telling you what I actually mean when I talk about that 'one' person in our life.

We all have one such person who brings out the best within us. Who is the actual reason for us being what we are today. This special person may be in different roles for each one of us.Some have this person as idols they follow, some parents and for most its the person they love. For most of us, this person is the one we look up to whenever we are down. They come in our life when we are down and depressed. When we have been bruised in the battle of life. That one person comes and picks us up back, helps us stand on our own feet, helps us get back our lost confidence and charm and makes us what we are today. And they accept us as we are. People say everybody changes with time. But when that change is to reciprocate the unconditional love and care we receive, its all fair and such changes are never felt as a burden.

Life has never been fair and will never be. Its the same with people around. If you say you just like everybody around then either you are lying or you really do not care about anyone. With scorpions that is not the case. We have a strong sense of likes and dislikes. At times when we do not see many people around who can be liked, this one person is enough. That one person understand the unspoken words, knows the hidden feelings and is aware of the true meaning behind the words. Life would have been really difficult in the absence of that one person. We do not have to pose or be formal in front of them. We do not have to mince words in front of them. We can be our true self which has become so difficult to be these days. And that one person still loves us, cares for us and is there for us.

It is this one person whom you think of whenever you are sad. And it is this one person you are free to talk anything that you want. We have many songs that go on and on about such people in our life but I like a few lines which I would like to quote from a old bollywood song from the movie Junglee.

"Tumne mujhko hasna sikhaya,

Rone kahoge ro lenge ab.

Aansoo ke humare gum na karo,

wo behte hai toh behne do.

mujhe tumse mohabbat ho gayi hai,

mujhe palko ki chav main rehne do"

"Chahe bana do, chahe mita do,

Mar bhi gaye toh denge duyaein."

For those who are not good with Hindi, use google translator.

So guys and girls, as soon as you read this think of that one person in your life who gives you the comfort of being loved in this world and go and tell that person that you love them and that they are special in your life. Do not wait for an occasion to say it. Cause I am sure if not for that 'one' person in your life, life would have been more difficult than it is now. And those who feel you still do not have that one person in your life yet, maybe the time has not yet come when you need them the most.

 And for those who feel I have still not been able to justify the importance of that one person. Blame it on my inability to do so.

Cheers!